Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A wedding, a diet and 2 kids

We went to our friends wedding on Saturday, beachside, outdoor venue. It was a lovely day, as one would hope and I rained tears as they said their vows, I can't explain it, let's just say I find meaningful words spoken publicly quite emotional.
I looked fine (note the fine - not yet 'great', 'fantastic' or even "I felt great!' - that's what we're eventually after), a light spray tan, tummy sucker knickers and some bronzer so I fit in perfectly.
As locals we were advised not to bring our children - that there would be kids there but it was preferable if we could just bring ourselves. It was a pain to organise childcare - my initial babysitter fell through, friends who owe us a favour couldn't do it, regular daycare lady had something else on....24 hours before the wedding we were recommended a lovely lady who worked in a childcare centre, spoke to said lady the morning of said wedding and met her 10 minutes before we left her to responsibly care for our children.
We were out for almost 8 hours from about 3.30pm, she charged....wait for it.....if you're in your 30's and used to babysit for neighbours you are about to get freaked out....$20 per hour. Ouch. We got home all wedding merry and happily placed $150 in her palm, impressed by the clean floor, kitchen and of course sleeping children in the bedrooms. It must also be noted that when we left at 3.30 the kids barely looked up from the floor where they were sat with babysitter blowing bubbles and told by Mr 6 the next day 'she was good'. High praise.
I had spoken to a lady at the wedding who said her babysitter charged her $20 for the first 3 hours then $12 per hour after that. Reasonable.
So the moral of todays blog is do not be afraid to pay that little bit extra when wanting an evening out and your children to be well cared for. But also do not be afraid to negotiate on a sum of money before you leave. We probably would have spent the same amount if we had of gone out for dinner, but I tell you, 20 years ago I charged about $5 per hour, if that. Bloody hell.
In other news I have lost the grand total of 2kg in 4 weeks, which certainly is a sustainable loss but also a bloody slow one! Feeling fit, but as usual a bit anxious and overthinky. Did I just coin a new phrase? Feeling a bit overthinky. Planning on paying close attention to my (wo)menstrual cycle this month to see how much of it is hormone related.
Always feels better to blog it out :)

Friday, September 7, 2012

Day 13

Just a quick update on the 12 Week Endevour. Actually that would make a great name for it! It doesn't seem to have an actual name, just an annoying computer program you have to labour over every evening entering details of the food & drink you consumed that day and a weekly meeting where our spritely leaders talk us through 'emotional eating' and 'unhelpful thinking' and then joyfully weigh us in the hope that there is a little bit less of us.
Labour intensive as it is, I've found entering the details of my daily dietary intake into the program to be both interesting and positive. It turns out I have been overeating for much of my life!? When I told my younger brother this he dryly replied with a 'Really? Your really just figuring this out?', not in a mean way but in a 'What the fuck else did you think was going on? Thyroid? Heavy genes?'
So here is the plain truth. My name is Clare and I'm an overeater. I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm bored, busy, just in case and when I see the clock hands hit a particular time. I hate to be hungry, it panics me, worries me, makes me feel....empty.
It would appear that I've been attempting to fill that emptiness, that hole, that void, over the years with 1) Food, 2) Alcohol and 3) Smoke. Since I quit smoking in January I have gained close to 8 kilo, this is despite training for and running the 12.7km City to Surf in June. Committed.
So I'm realising all this because this past 13 days so often I have felt the urge to eat...but instead of indulging that urge I stop and have a think about my hunger. Turns out I'm hungry for a lot of things not just food. I'm hungry for a maid, who could do the cleaning that needs to be done around the home that I delay doing by....stopping for something to eat. I'm hungry for a nanny, to assist me in the raising of 2 wonderful children who I too often bribe, distract or shut up with food. I'm hungry for love and acknowledgement, from myself, from my family, that I reward myself with food for that quick fix.
Holy dooley talk about breakthroughs. The first week was difficult, I felt hungry (duh), uncomfortable and frustrated. This past week has been better, more energy, more awareness and....
I weighed in last night at the end of a long day and I had lost 1.4 kilo in 12 days. I am loving myself sick. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Got a new goal in my sights and it's totally achievable...Go Team Biz!