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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Health

It's 5.30 on a Wednesday morning and my daughter can't sleep. So here we are. Her on the floor playing with a container of pins (it's too early for me to care) that make a great noise and me slumped over the computer desk trying to feel positive.
Theres not much to love at this time of the day. Sorry kid.
The worst of it is it's my own fault. My daughter sleeps well and is quite a pleasant baby so long as I stick to several golden rules.
No dairy. Milk & cheese have been easy to kick - it's chocolate that I can't let go of. My old friend. I went for 4 weeks completely dairy free and what a month it was - lighter, happier, healthy....Then somehow the chocolate has found it's way into my shopping trolley and I'm back on the gear, finding comfort in a brown bar. Meanwhile my daughter becomes more & more irritable, can't drop off to sleep, wants to be held all day. Screams like a newborn when she's not. Torturous. My own fault.
Then I give up the chocolate and think it's only fair I have a beer or 2 in the evening, just to take the edge off if you like. Turns out this is as effective as chocolate and we are back to her wanting much more of me than I can give.
So back to square one. Dietary control. Exercise. All that business of health. Maintaining positive thoughts, fighting back the negative ones that want to take control. It's just that its gonna be a long day today, I know it, and I can't even 'reward' myself with chocolate or beer! Looks like its a beach walk & a healthy dinner and perhaps even a few daytime kips.

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