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Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Bought to you by Cadburys

I've overindulged this Easter and I have a massive problem in that my freezer still has numerous chocolate eggs in it and I don't think I have it in me to throw them out. The thought of doing so makes me feel part way relieved but mostly uncomfortable. Wasteful. Sad. Which is a little bit the same as me eating them, so I'm kind of stuck. With my hand in the freezer, consistently, throughout the day. Spiralling high on chocolate then crashing down low, brimming with energy then feeling as though my limbs are wooden & I can barely move. Not to mention my thought processes, which are madcap and frenetic and then negative, unhappy, almost belligerent.
Ironically I am in the middle of reading 3 books on weight loss. I've been putting in some serious work running, swimming, walking, playing, even sexing and for the love of (chocolate) money I'm not losing any weight. So I borrowed 'Allan Carrs Easy Way to Lose Weight' from a friend, found 'What's Eating You' at the library and downloaded 'If I'm So Smart Why Can't I Lose Weight?' to my kindle.
So far I have learnt (learned?) that I need to eat less, not eat junk and drink more water.
Fuckin' A. Simple really.
So from here the plan is to pretty much eat as many of the eggs in the freezer as I can, as quickly as possible so they are GONE. Then I'll not be eating junk, will definitely be eating less & I drink heaps of water anyways.
And hopefully one of these days I will stop seeing my emotions as chocolate (and eating them), will not feel mildly panicked if my tummy is not bursting from fullness & will not burst into tears or scream abuse at my nearest & dearest if I happen to be hungry/starving/famished/ready to faint.
Maybe I'll just throw the fucking eggs out.

2 comments:

  1. I hear you on all of this!! I abuse loved ones when hungry too. Last week I went to town on chocolaty goodness & i swear my clothes feel tighter, despite it being my second week of full on exercise since I had Lulu. I tried to go cold turkey on the chocolate this week but have not had success, however yesterday was the first day I didn't have chocolate during the day. Am hoping for a similar result today. Have to start small. In the past I've found eating less at each meal & cutting out sugar to be effective combined with exercise. Oh & no days off the exercise, keep up some form each day. Good Luck. Have a pig out day, am sure it will feel better than chucking those precious eggs out.
    xx

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  2. Ok Claire, I think I know what's going on - stop trying to "loose" weight because you almost always find the shit that you "loose" - try "dumping" it instead :-)

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