I've had several good feelings this past week...
My Mother In Law has been staying with us looking after Leo during the school holidays and she has been magnificent. I trust her, admire her, enjoy her and love that she and Leo get to have this time together.
Alas she is leaving tomorrow and heaven forbid I am back in charge of my 2 children for 5 days straight. Aside from feeling quite sad that I won't see my refugee boys for an entire 9 days (2 weekends + 1 week) I'm slightly nervous at the prospect of entire days with me vs kids. Best case scenario we enjoy relaxing fun days together....worst case we have more of the sameness from this past week - a 2 year old with slightly demonic phases that only appear when Mother is around.
I'm confident that I am a good parent. I'm certain that I love both my children and would willingly give up my own life for either of them, should the need arise. However, lately, Ms 2 almost 3 has been throwing such rage filled tantrums, involving headbutts, scratching, biting and screaming (oh the screaming), ONLY when I am around, that my sense of I am complete woman/domestic goddess/earth mother has evaporated. Instead I feel a mixture of embarrassment, helplessness and oh fuck I could seriously throw you off the balcony.
Fortunately I did see the Dalai Lama IN THE FLESH last week and he reminded me that compassion, forgiveness and mindfulness are Uber Important. The best weapon I have when she is throwing a mental (oh, excuse me for not being P.C.... but seriously, it's fucking mental) is to imagine the Lama is in the room. This is particularly useful in increasing my mindfullness skills and NOT throwing her off the balcony.
So surely a week with both my children will be TERRIFIC and if not at least I will get to practise and increase my skills in compassion, forgiveness and what...oh that's right, mindfullness.
In other news, I was slightly concerned that my expensive Berlei bra was allowing my nipples to shine bright like a diamond through my work shirts. Working with teenage boys, you can imagine this was a little unsettling, for all of us. Damn you Darwin, your humidity and your hard working air conditioning units. So I bought 3 new bras in different colours for $10 each from Cotton On. Great shop. Thick Bra material. Monster push up. So now I no longer have nipple issues, but it does feel as though my boobs are now located under my chin. The boys seem happy, and as always pleased to see me, so either we are all relieved I'm no longer headlighting them or my Mrs Robinson look is working a treat. Like I said, it's a good feeling.