I knew today would be hard. My Mum heading home after a week of school holidays, the kids back to their Dad's and this house, quiet again. I've been dreading it.
I see my daughter with a huge smile on her face walk up to her Dad and wrap herself around him. It is a beautiful thing and so of course I am barely out the driveway before the tears course down my face. I'm ready to wallow in the lap of my own self pity...and fortunately I did plan ahead.
Black Betty is charged so she brings some welcome relief. I fall asleep to my mindfulness meditation but not before I take note of my vanishing thoughts. I awaken twenty minutes later, groggy but with purpose. To the library.
I return my overdues so I can finally borrow again and I begin my drift. Through the new releases, the recommended, the favourites. I stroll through the non fiction, become emerged in the first chapter of someone I've never heard ofs autobiography. I lose myself, my head, my loneliness as I wonder, distracted by all the stories, all the information, the quiet buzz of this special place.
I save the best till last, late afternoon at least. Donning my hiking boots and black lycra I tread the paths of Anula, music loud in my ears, shoulders back, enjoy it. I come home, slightly buzzy on the afterglow of my walking high, potter in the garden (move sprinkler around, water plants, pick up three fronds - hard core stuff) then decide a self care evening is in order. I have a single Valium left from a recent flight and it is time we connected.
I allow myself to dive into the deep of the peace, the fluffy cloud of the Big V. I slow down, my mind, body, every movement more mindful, natural. I feel like Harry Potter on Felix Felicis, not quite Lady Luck but safe in the knowing that all is as it should be. Follow what feels right. Write. Sing. Be Kind. Love.
Not too bad a day at all.