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Friday, July 26, 2013

Damn it.

I lost my job today.
Ouch.
It actually hurts to write it, it's hard to make these words flow.
Nothing dramatic. No huge mistake, no bitter feud, no problems...
Just a reshuffle of who goes where. There are so many people in detention that they need all the rooms they can, to squeeze all the people into.
So the boys I have been caring for are moving to another centre and where I currently work will become some kind of transit centre where families stay for a few weeks before transferring to the next place. Meaning my 5 days a week 9-2 shift is debunked. All over red rover. Gone.
There is certainly more work for me as a support worker. Sadly this work is what one might call shift work. Start times are either 7am or 3pm. You can imagine how terrifically they fit into a school Mum's life. So fuckingbullshitbumbumfuckthis. I'm out. I'm not happy. My manager isn't happy. I'm a bloody valuable asset to my company. Just not a 9-2 one.
It couldn't have happened at a better time for 2 reasons. Number 1 is the slight problem of my positive diagnosis for Ross River Virus. I know, I know - it can last for ages and intermittently pop up throughout the rest of my life. I know. Especially because thats what people tell me, everytime I tell them I'm RRV Positive. It's fucking depressing. Worse though, is the joint pain, that starts in the bottom of my feet & travels all the way to my spectacular Mama hips. It aches, it causes me to walk like an old lady and that it has become my normal is quite sad.
This will be a big journey, but I'm ready for it.
The number 2 reason I have to be grateful for bowing out of the ever fluidly changing world of immigration is that times are getting tough. Nobody seems to know what will happen, least of all the people running the show. So my role as a support worker is going to get harder and more stressful and possibly very depressing. Certainly for the clients and more than likely for the workers. So maybe it's a good time to get out. Before the going gets too tough.
But damn it I was good at it. I loved it. I really care about what happens to those kids.
Damn it Damn it Damn it.
Now to spend a day with my family, the best remedy of all when my spirit is laid flat. I am continually reminded that when days are dark, I still have so much to be grateful, and thankful, for.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear about your job. That sucks, for you and for the kids you were helping x

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