Monday, July 30, 2012


Today I became 33 years old. I am so pleased to be getting older! I really think I'm getting better at a lot of things with age. Running, sexing, blogging & pelvic floor exercises are just a few.
In saying that I also weigh 10 kilos more than I did this time last year. Dislike. Have a head full of thoughts that tell me this needs to change, but a stomach that keeps reminding me to feed it, fill it, flavour it.
I've written some goals down to have achieved by my 34th. Competing in a swimming race is one of them and fitting into my gorgeous black strapless tulle number is another. No pressure.
Lots of things have made me smile lately. We took Leo's training wheels off his bike in about April & have made no progress in getting him on the bike since. I've forced him into riding a few times, but try managing an unwilling & unexperienced bike rider, a toddler & a dog at your local oval. It's not particularly relaxing.
We went camping on Friday and asides from it being terrific fun it was a shamejob for Leo because his 2 friends aged 4 & 6 both had their 2 wheeled bikes & were cruising around with glee. He had to kind of sit back and pretend not to care. Once we got back home I remembered we had some leftover lollies from camping and shamelessly bribed him with 2 now, 2 when we get back if you ride around the block. Note that I am still holding onto the back of his bike to ensure his stability/safety. Well those lollies worked a treat because he was off, minus Mums hand (albeit briefly)! A glorious thing to see your child master a skill. Still got some work to do, but great joy for us both.
Another thing that is wonderful is WORK! Away from home. That pays well! I'm working with asylum seekers who are relatively fresh off the boat and I just love it. So many stories to tell. People so happy to have made it safely here. So much to learn, for all of us. I go home at the end of a shift and feel not just lucky, but priveleged to call this country my home. And always so happy to see my kids after a few hours away! What a difference it makes to us all to have our slightly separate lives.
Finally, today after having a wonderful birthday, I left Maggie downstairs, sans nappy, to play in the yard. I came back to find her, plus a pile of poo, in the front seat of my car. Happy Birthday to You Mum. It was terrible, but in this optimistic frame of mind I currently have I'm pleased that 1) she didn't take the handbrake off and 2)it wasn't wee - so much harder to get out of upholstery. It's been a great day and I'm a lucky girl.

Monday, July 2, 2012


I'm not really sure how to write about the funeral.
In one respect it was terrible, as funerals should be. Lots of crying, red eyes, hugging. A wooden box containing your precious person. Tears leaking out and a heart so heavy it ached.
Yet it was also brilliant, a room full of people who all loved this same person, who had come from many places to honour him. Photos of his wonderful life shown on a screen, memories of a happy childhood, a brilliant young adult and a wonderful happy man.
It was held in a funeral home, no Gods or prayers, no incense or wafers. The funeral director read a few bad poems, talked a bit about Don, then invited Dons sons to come and speak. Both his boys are smart, strong minded guys, very good with words.
And so they blew us all away. They each told stories of their Dad, funny, warm, familiar stories of a man whose eyes smiled at everyone & who no-one ever just met, but someone people always liked and usually loved. They talked of their own feelings about losing him, but that what he had taught them about life was to be rational and honest. To question and enjoy. To love and remember.
It was a tribute so fitting you could almost feel him in the room. He wasn't gone, he had left in each of us, but particularly these 2 beloved boys of his, memories and love that would live on always. So many stories and so much warmth.
I cried to say goodbye, but afterwards I felt such a sense of peace. I feel so lucky to have known him, so grateful to have had him in my life. He was truly loved and I'm so happy I got to love him. It's going to be a long road, particularly for my Mum who has travelled this path before. More than the grief of losing him though, is the joy of having had him.