It's going. 10 days into treatment and Donno's body is being poisoned by chemotherapy, he feels sick, is sick, we want him not to be sick. More than anything.
My mind wants to take me to bad places. Funerals, dying, sickness, sadness. Fotunately my daughter has taught me so much in her time here, mostly about not letting my head dwell on negativity, instead focussing on just breathing, just being. So I fight the urge to be dramatic and find solace in my children, my Josh, my self and my wonderful, strong and good extended family.
There is humour in much of it. Donno seems to think he is a consultant in his medical treatment, so knows everything he needs to and regularly makes suggestions to the Doctors regarding courses of action. He and Mum are having a new bathroom built on to their house and he is in daily contact with the builder, insisting upon photos of the work be emailed to him and talking to the builder at least once a day. Some days 3 times, but that's our Donno :)
Amidst the horror of the diagnosis comes some wonderful reminders of humanity. The bathroom builder is now only charging for materials, not labour. Heartfelt cards from friends and family arrive every day. Offers of help, accommodation, spare cars are being sent to all of us, the somewhat helpless relatives who want nothing but to be there, to help, to love.
I stopped praying many years ago, but lately have been tempted to take it up again. But that Donno is a man of science, so it probably wouldn't do him any good anyway ;). Instead I just hope for the best, breathe in and think good health, breathe out and send that awful disease away. We are going to hold on to that wonderful man with everything we have and cherish every moment left. And maybe pray to the universe to give us more time xo